We are all familiar with a type of a person who is always complaining about something. They seem to just go there automatically, even when things are actually going well. Life always appears to be against them. No matter what they do or how they act. They push people away by their outlook, making it difficult for anyone to be around them. In many circumstances can find themselves alone and exhausted.
Well, I say just like, “you are what you eat” … “you become what you think”.
We all complain about something every once in a while. It’s normal and part of the human condition. Money, physical pain and emotional trauma come to mind. But there are degrees and types of negative states of mind which are highly personal. In the same way as different types of personalities. Pessimistic people come in different variations.
The three most common types are: venters, chronic complainers and sympathy seekers.
Venters are people who need someone to listen to them about their complaints and when the listener comes up with a good and reasonable solution, they get turned down. Venters are quick to refuse advice even when it’s good.
Chronic complainers are those who obsess and ruminate over an issue and complain about it becoming more worried and anxious the further they think about it. They never resolve it or feel relaxed after complaining for an hour.
Sympathy seekers are the type of complainer who always have it worse than you. They are quick to reduce your level of misery and seek to “one up” your situation. They tend to find fault in others and rarely with themself.
With all these examples and others, negativity can rewire your brain. Yes, physically. Constantly seeing the negative side of life will lead to negative downward spiraling that is difficult to reverse course.
Sure, once we get a bout of negative thinking we should vent quickly and then move on. Don’t hold onto it. Find a solution and deal with it. It will be worth it in the long run!
To clarify, we are not talking about deep grief of losing a family member or pet, losing your job or getting struck with an incurable disease. These all take time to process and require an amount of grieving. We are only talking about how constant, chronic complaining can negatively affect your brain.
According to Rick Hanson, Ph.D., psychologist and Senior Fellow of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkley, “… people who routinely experience chronic stress-particularly acute, even traumatic stress-release the hormone cortisol, which literally eats away, almost like an acid bath, at the hippocampus, which is a part of the brain that’s very engaged in visual-spatial memory as well as memory for context and setting.”
Constant negative thoughts set into motion that reinforces those neuropathways associated with that same emotion. Which eventually become chronic or automated. In a relatively short amount of time will change your default mode setting or baseline.
This is why it’s imperative to remain positive in your outlook, so you don’t reinforce this negative pattern of behavior.
Here’s some tips to stay on the positive side of things.
The first thing I do is, be grateful. Sometimes anything that is unpleasant can bring about a negative shift in our thinking. That should be expected. But the idea is to think of 3 things you are grateful for every morning and night. Try and get into the habit. Even start to journal them down and expand the list. Because if you start to think about it, there are more reasons than you can imagine.
Change your mood by changing your activity. Whenever you start to feel negativity growing and you become overwhelmed, take a break from whatever you’re doing. Change the task you’re involved in. Go exercise, go to the bathroom, listen to some of your favorite music or make a phone call.
Try and catch yourself before it happens by knowing the steps that lead to it. It will be easier but don’t wait for your friends to tell you. Be solution driven and not emotional strapped and surrender to it.
Try breathing deep, it helps to close your eyes, relax by moving to another location away from anybody if possible.
You can always ask for help from family and close friends for advice. Write it down so you can actually see constructive thoughts on paper. Then take action to make the changes.
If you try and remember most things in life are merely episodes or bumps in the road and not deal breakers. They only become a problem when you fixate on them and feed them the power they need to keep you enslaved.
Mindset is everything!
If you have a tendency to be a certain way, like all of us. Then use that against yourself for betterment. If by fixating on the negative aspects of life you create more of what you think about. Setting up physical changes in your brain to support the negativity. Then, it stands to reason the same thing will happen if you focus to be grateful for so much you have right now. It’s an intentional directive that must be learned by putting it into motion. It’s a principle of life that works BOTH ways. So, what are you waiting for?
-A Balance Brain is a Better Brain for a Happier Life-