Maybe You’re Not Broken- How Personality Disorders and Our Brains are Being Redefined
We love our labels: toxic, narcissist, borderline. They show up everywhere—on TikTok rants, in late-night conversations, even in how we judge ourselves. But what if these labels are not only outdated, they’re wrong?
According to the World Health Organization’s ICD11 model, personality disorders are no longer rigid categories like Borderline or narcissistic personality disorder. Instead, they’re seen as amplified versions of traits that all of us have—things like perfectionism, emotional sensitivity, or impulsivity. The question isn’t “What disorder do you have?” but “How intensely are these traits interfering with your life?”
From “Broken” to “On a Spectrum”
In the old model, you either had a personality disorder or you didn’t—black and white. But decades of research showed that most people with one diagnosis also met criteria for another, revealing just how blurry those lines are. The ICD11 system now uses severity levels (mild, moderate, severe) and focuses on specific traits such as Negative Affectivity (intense emotions), Disinhibition (impulsivity), or Detachment (social withdrawal).
What’s striking is that everyone has these traits—just at different levels. A little worry can make you conscientious. Too much worry, and it’s paralyzing. The “normal” vs. “disordered” divide is more like a gradient than a wall.
The Problem with Labels
When someone is told they are “borderline” or “narcissistic,” it can feel like a permanent stamp of what’s wrong with them. But these traits are fluid, shaped by the brain’s wiring and the nervous system’s ability to regulate stress. Emotional volatility, for example, isn’t just psychological, it’s also biological. When the brain’s networks are dysregulated, the nervous system reacts too strongly or too weakly to everyday events.
That’s where neurofeedback comes in. By gently training the brain to self-regulate, we can bring those overactive or underactive patterns back into balance, reducing symptoms like impulsivity, intense anger, or emotional shutdown. In my practice, I’ve seen people who once fit the “borderline” or “avoidant” mold develop calmer, more stable emotional responses simply because their nervous system learned to stop living in overdrive.
Borderline Traits Aren’t Forever
Take Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Once considered one of the most difficult conditions to treat, new research shows that up to 88% of people diagnosed with BPD no longer meet the criteria after 10 years—especially when they receive therapies that target regulation, like dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) or neurofeedback, like LENS.
BPD isn’t a fixed identity; it’s a pattern of traits—emotional sensitivity, fear of abandonment, impulsivity—that can be retrained and softened. Neurofeedback helps by calming the brain’s fear centers (like the amygdala) and strengthening networks involved in self-control and emotional balance.
The New Normal Isn’t a Checklist—It’s a Conversation
So what’s normal? It’s not the absence of symptoms. It’s the ability to function, relate, and live meaningfully with the personality you’ve got. Under the new system, you’re not defined by a disorder—you’re understood by your patterns.
Maybe you’ll never be the calmest person in the room. Maybe you cry easily, or hate authority, or need a lot of alone time. That’s not a disorder. That’s you. And if parts of your personality are making life harder than it must be. Therapy (including neurofeedback, dialectical behavior therapy, or trauma work) can help. But the answer isn’t erasing who you are—it’s integrating it.
Let’s Stop Pathologizing People and Start Understanding Them
The redefinition of personality disorders isn’t just a change in manuals—it’s a cultural shift. It forces us to stop asking, “What’s wrong with them?” and start asking, “What’s hurting them?”
Because maybe you’re not broken. Maybe you’re just human—on the high end of a spectrum, in a world that hasn’t figured out how to hold complexity.
So What Is “Normal”?
The new approach says “normal” isn’t about having zero traits or symptoms. It’s about functioning well with the personality you have. If a trait—like perfectionism or social detachment interferes with relationships or daily life, that’s when it becomes a problem.
LENS supports this by improving flexibility in the brain. It doesn’t change who you are—it helps your brain move out of stuck patterns. Clients often describe feeling “less reactive” or “more themselves” after sessions, which aligns perfectly with this new understanding of personality: not about changing your core but helping it work better.
Maybe You’re Not Broken
This shift isn’t just a clinical update; it’s a cultural reset. It asks us to stop seeing personality disorders as character flaws and start viewing them as extreme stress responses or dysregulated brain patterns—things we can work with, not fight against.
You’re not broken. Your brain might just need some fine-tuning. And that’s exactly where LENS excels.
-A Balanced Brain is a Better Brain for a Happier Life-